Conscience...why must you pester me!

You know.....I had an experience a week or so ago.....a bit hard to swallow when it first happened. The crisis....I WAS WRONG!!!! (pull out the calenders folks....and add it to the several other notations that have been made!!)

In this case, I don't necessarily feel I was incorrect with the points I was attempting to bring up during the slightly heated conversation....but mainly that I even dared to heat the conversation up to begin with. The subject matter was not something that needed to be discussed because despite what was said I already knew the answers. That of course was what stirred me to begin with. Knowing that what I would be hearing from this group would not necessarily be the truth....but simply the version of the truth that would be told to me. I did immediately choose to disengage from the conversation the moment my question....instead of being answered directly..... was addressed with another question....making apparent that the ol duck and lie technique was in full effect! Absolutely nothing good was going to come out of this 1st grade discussion so I was done. Regardless of right or wrong....I did not represent myself in a way that I was proud of. Knowing that the topic would not be handled maturely from the start it should have been left alone.

Moments after hanging up the phone I felt an overwhelming need to call back and apologize for my part in the discussion. It was quite obvious this person didn't seem to care to terribly for the gesture and as expected there certainly was no acknowledgment of responsibility from the other end....which quite honestly did not leave me surprised since that seems to be a regular stance on all subjects that arise.

Although its not something I necessarily wanted to do....nor do I believe this person is capable of understanding the reason I had to do it.....I know it was the right thing to do. So I say...conscience.....I don't know why you feel the need to pester me all the time.....but for the valuable lessons you continue to force upon me...and for the great uncomfortableness you often bring to me....I thank you!