Fear not --my "groupies"---I have returned!!!

Well, yeah, where to begin!
So I last left you hangin' with a rather negative post....but hey...that's life...and as stated previously that is exactly what my blog is about....Life.
So moving on.....
Lets see....well...I started going to the gym this past week. Yup! Let me tell you....IT FEELS GOOD!!! Now don't get me wrong....it has been one glorious moment of hell after another....but there are just some forms of hell that are well worth it!
But....TALK ABOUT A REALITY CHECK...WHOA!!!...I jumped on the ol' elliptical the first day ready to go for my record making mile and just about died....long before I even neared a mile actually....well not THAT long....ok..that long....actually quite long before.....like only after my first 2 minutes into it. I know...I know....I looked quite pathetic next to that 80 year old woman nearing her 3rd mile still sporting a spring in her step. Just give me a week I say.....She's goin DOWN!
So continuing on my walk of shame I decided to move onto some much needed stretching exercises. (Ok, lets be honest...I needed to catch my breath after my pathetic 10 minute attempt at burning fat...but hey...stretching is good!) So the stretching felt good....not that it took a very far reach to feel the burn!! As a matter of fact....my hands NEVER once touched my toes!! But hey....I try not to take things for granted these days....after what I just went through the past 3 years I am just happy to actually SEE my toes!!! So...now that I know where they are...my next goal will be to once again make contact with them. Yup....one step at a time my fellow Fonda's....one step at a time....
So after sitting on the floor and enjoying a chance to breathe for awhile....oh ...I mean stretching....I then spent the next pride crumbling 3o minutes or so dragging myself from one machine to the next barely able to even produce movement in the weights much less complete a set of reps. This would be a good time to point out that I used to be so anti-nautilus in the past for the simple reason that it doesn't truly produce strength for real life activity. Nautilus does have its place...and a few of them actually can produce good results...a few of them. For the most part nautilus was created to entice women into coming to the gym by "providing results with ease!!!" (Anyone who believes that you can achieve results without putting a bit of effort and sweat into it needs to be slapped...and hey would you look at that...my hand just happens to be free!) Now granted....there is certainly nothing wrong with woman coming in (or men) and using those machines.....whatever it takes to get people to the gym to get started...I am all for it!! It really should just be used as a starting point though.....but anyway....time to get back to the point....
So I was dragging myself around (the nautilus section I might add) choking on every machine that had the privilege to seat my derriere.....that should put in perspective just how bad of shape I am in....but man...you should see how fast I can change a diaper!!
So last night, continuing on my mission to help restore peace and happiness with regards to my ongoing war: buns vs body fat, I decided to join a Pilate's class! Figured it would be good for my lean muscle...well...I don't actually have the lean muscle yet....but when I do it should be WONDERFUL! I also thought it might do some good for my battle against my whacked out posture! (sorry, my tourettes again...that happens from time to time) I tell you, nothing jacks up your posture like having kids. Between the backbreaking way you carry yourself while pregnant to the careful alternating hunchback/reverse hunchback technique you use while lugging your kids around. There is constant strain on your back and body. Times that by 3 years + 3 kids and your just plain screwed!
So Pilate's...my saving grace...I mean how hard could it really be? OH MY GOOD MOTHER....talk about a shameful sight I was! But they make it look so easy!! Dammit!! So every wednesday.....6:45-7:45.... yup....so I won't be at home. I will be off perfecting my...um...technique!! Whoever says I don't have a sense of humor with myself ...I invite you to come and watch!! Be prepared to eat your words....well...once you pick yourself up off the floor.

So one would think that between getting up at 6am on Tuesday and Thursday along with going to a pilates class on Wednesday that I would have experienced enough shame for my first week back right??? WELL.....no....I am actually going to a cycle class tonight. Yes, I...the girl who got winded after 2 minutes on the elliptical machine....am going to cycle for an hour!! Hallelujah!!! I AM GOING TO CYCLE!!! I may fall off the bike halfway through.....as a matter of fact this MAY be my last blog!!! Wow....if that's the case....and this is in fact my last blog...please disregard everything I just said...and refer to my "just in case this is my last blog" blog down below.....

Just in case this is my last blog blog...

I have the grace of Ginger Rogers.....the coordination and the strength of Laila Ali........
I......AM....SHE-RA!!!!! PRINCESS OF POWER!!!!! (can you hear the echoing?)

There....thats a better way to go out....