Complaining would not be the "socially acceptable" thing to do...so here goes!

So Scott REALLY seems to be enjoying his new job. Two weeks down now and NO complaints. He has not been this satisfied since Starwood. Time will tell if they have the same abusive tendencies as Starwood did. But for now....
I actually accused him of having an affair! OK, so I was joking...sort of...but the man has actually been getting out of bed on time, showering, looking VERY nice, wearing cologne AND brushing his teeth!!! Am I supposed to pretend I don't notice it?!! Showering AND brushing teeth in the same day is really reserved for special occasions these days. (Not just with him....welcome to parenthood!!!)He has assured me there is no affair....guess that just leaves motivation with a side of enthusiasm about his new job! A bit of a foreign concept these days.
So I couldn't be happier that it is working out so well for him. It really does sound like there is potential for a successful future at this company....notice I said future....so we are not there yet....but he has been having very encouraging comments flying his way. Nice to hear....and I am glad he feels very appreciated and valuable...
So.....on the not so socially acceptable side of the coin...I am jealous! Although I have not shared this with him in connection with this current job of his....I have had this conversation in the past with him. He is able to feel a sense of accomplishment, appreciation, value, and he receives compensation to further enforce his worth. OK....I REALLY don't want to hear the comments about how "...parenting is the best job in the world....you are the most important....you could be raising the next president....blah blah blah...." I hear all that....and YES....I get it...but when I am buried up to my elbows in poop and more often then not find myself walking around with some bodily fluid or dried up booger attached to my skin....did I mention showers and personal hygiene are a bit neglected these days? The other day I was about to collapse due to a lack of nutrition!! Here I am trying to possibly develop a future in Nutrition and I can't even find the time to eat! I am SO forgetful these days....my eyes are sagging to my knees...(I won't even go there on the obvious comment I could say in conjunction with the eyes sagging bit)...make-up? whats that!....I swear I am growing a second eyebrow.....and I think my hair is gradually turning to dreads from a lack of care. I AM.....AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL!
I would just like to remember what it feels like to be accomplished in something....to be good at something....have a skill....feel the value....worth....Sure...I am doing an important job....but if I were to step out into the world again....most employers would look at me as worthless. Any skills I may have once had....to long ago....I would have to start over! So basically confirming that worthless feeling I have already developed at home. I don't know....
Prior to marrying I really did not see this coming. I was always the type that was going to do something!! I didn't know what...but I was going to make my way some how! Now I am COMPLETELY dependent on Scott. That was a very hard adjustment. Just knowing if something happened to him....I would be screwed! Kind of scary....very scary actually. I know we each have our places right now in regards to our family....but I want to do it all! I know there is got to be a way that I can have that balance. Why not....he gets to have it....and in general men don't get a second look when they provide. I won't even go onto that subject though...all I am saying is that there has got to be something I can do to feel that sense of accomplishment and worth just like Scott is able to do. I have already stated I was never one for the traditional route....so there has got to be something...I have SEVERAL ideas brewing up in my head....but I can't help but wonder if I am just reaching to high! I guess time will tell on this also....
I am not trying to sound so under confident....its actually quite the opposite these days...I have really been feeling this other side emerging from me....no not another personality folks....well I guess kind of....but it doesn't carry voices that only I can hear!I have lived for several years trying to "please" a group of my acquaintances. I think I have finally realized I will NEVER be a person in their eyes. For several years I have had to hear and deal with opinions, judgements....on how I have conducted my life that have come from people that really have no place to have an opinion. Its a rather unfortunate situation actually. Lifelong ties with people that like to think nothing but the worst. I have tried time and time again to provide opportunities to create a relationship....but yet the judgement continues. No, I am not naive to think everyone will be my friend....but lets face it....I have developed friendships with people that may surprise some....I believe in giving everyone a chance....you never really know how much you may have in common with people. But it hurts when you know you are the outlet for someone....to place their blame an unhappiness on. BUT....I have come to accept that there is really NOTHING I can do about this situation....I HAVE TRIED....been shot down....AND TRIED AGAIN....BUT.....people have their own reasons for being who they are....and all I can do is be the best person I can be and let them live in their own misery and regret. In the meantime I have a family to co-lead.....my children DO come first....and if one of my children is needing something I am going to go after it. Despite what others feel is right or wrong. They can certainly try to get in my way....all that will do is make me push harder for it. I have lived for a long time under the "control" of someone else....yes...I am to blame by allowing them to have that control over me....but that is over and has been heading that way for some time now. I can only give so much....it really is their loss.....if I do say so myself!

Overworked and WAY underpaid....

So lets see...
My sister told me (jokingly) today that I was addicted to overload! YOU THINK?!

I called her to ramble on about a rather humerous Lawyer experience I had...and of course the conversation turned into one of those where she asked one simple question about one thing and that led to me just spilling on and on about my entire crazy world. Yes, I did apologize to my poor sister once I realized I was WAY beyond answering her initial question!!
WOW....you know...I think she may be on to something. It seems that unless I have about 50 things going on....I am just not doing enough. I honestly don't know where I get it from. Hummm.......is this a bad trait to have? Sure...it can be...and I think in my case maybe I need to bring it down a notch....maybe to oh say....40 things.....but isn't drive a good thing too?
I have come to the realization that when I get to be a grown up again....and have a job....and ---hold on---get this----get PAID for what I do....I will not be able to have just one job. I have WAY to many interests to keep it to just ONE job. I just don't think I can sit still in an office all day long.....I have never been one for the ol traditional route anyway. I used to think that was a bad thing....now....I just think its more exciting! The hard part will be narrowing down my interests.....

So on another note....we are officially LISTED!!!! Our house is FOR SALE!!! Ok, now don't everyone FREAK OUT and send me emails asking where we are going...cause we really don't know. NO....we are not leaving the state.....we would stay around here. We are just exploring our options with the housing market the way it is. I mean....how can we not! We have a few homes that would be ok to move into....and 1 which would be AWESOME (but I am not holding my breath)...but we are also just fine if we have to stay in our condo for another year. It would just be nice to have a bit more room....not to mention a yard!
I must say....it is a bit difficult to have to live in a showplace 24/7. Did I mention we have 4 kids? Three being 2 and under??? My house is SO much cleaner then it has EVER been.....so if you were planning to come visit us anytime soon....now would be a GREAT time. If we decide to take our house off the market....I cannot guarantee it will be clean when you arrive. Ok, battery dying on laptop....The End.

To pee or not to pee.....that IS the question....

.....and has continued to be the question for Kaylee for what seems like forever now..... This child is determined to stay in diapers probably beyond her 2 sisters! Every now and again we have a great day....but most....well...end up pretty messy. She could not be more excited to see Allison on the potty....Kaylee remains Allison's biggest cheerleader! No, I am not really training Allison yet. When she sees Kaylee heading to the potty though she gets very excited and begins running towards the potty yelling "potty potty!"....so I let her sit down and play the game. But despite her enthusiasm....I am not ready to take her on also. To be totally honest....she is really not ready either. Just a rather enthusiastic personality is all. So, in regards to the question at hand....I believe it will be some time yet till I can give an answer. (Can you feel the exhaustion as you read?)
On another note...Scott is now officially unemployed! Well, he is supposed to be starting a new job on the 24th...and actually told his current...well..past employer this past Monday that he was giving his 2 weeks. Apparently his current employer felt that they did not need a full 2 weeks but neglected to tell Scott...well...until he asked them yesterday (Thursday) at 4:45 before he left for the day. They have been a rather ridiculous company to work for from the start...so this adios is without tears....I believe on both sides. IN THE MEANTIME.....we are possibly going to have a week without pay!!! NOT GOOD!!!! I would give anything to feel a bit of stability again....even with this new job I am not yet convinced that we will be stable for awhile.
I'm sorry...this blog is a bit of a bore....I just really felt I needed to put something up...but really am just to stinkin tired to think. BUT YES, pics are coming soon. We have heard the people speak...and promise to post some pics soon on the family blog. So keep on checkin....and check back with mine....I'll be back....hopefully sporting a bit of enthusiasm myself! I need to take a lesson from Allison!